the sider house rules

Crys and her jager on the porch.

I am sad I have to stay home this semester.
There..I said it and it is true.
I have been afraid to say it out loud for fear of sounding selfish.
I never like to be at home for more then a few weeks, all I do is dream about where to go next....that could be anywhere, even in the middle of nowhere New Brunswick for all I care.
I miss living in the Sider House.
I miss hearing Hollie play and sing songs on her guitar at any hour of the day.
I miss smelling whatever concoction Margaret is making in the kitchen.
I miss wondering where the heck Crystal is and then realizing that she is always just sleeping in her bed.
I miss the sea, clean air, long walks, and having someone to talk to about petty problems, watch sci-fi movies with and talk about what kind of life we want to live and what kind of women we want to be.
What I am sick of hearing is "How are you going to do a full semester online and work a part time job and finish it all in three months? ya know you are going to have to be very disciplined" yes it may sound daunting but why must everyone be so critical? if I can survive 6 courses a semester at SSU I am pretty sure any academic crisis that comes my way can be handled with my usual amount of grace and efficiency! haaaa
Last night I was talking to my aunt on the phone about this very thought, her and I are quite similar in the sense that we feel we can handle more then we probably can..my response to her was "Well we can definitely do it all, we just destroy ourselves and all of our relationships in the process", she laughed and reminded me that is why they gave me my nick name "Surely She's Shirley" because my grandma (Shirley) was a fierce overachiever, optimist and bossy women-hence why my name is Shirley. She went from pennys to millions in just a short time with her craftiness-wouldn't that be lovely if I was as successful as her for being able to make pretty crafts.
So this semester online will be challenging but I have every confidence that it can be done. I do miss normal University life though, last weekend I went with the boy to Kingston to visit the University he graduated from. I love love love the whole feel of a University and I am actually quite interested in the whole idea of a University and education from a Sociologists perspective. Speaking of which...I am realizing more and more as I near the completion of my degree that there are SO many more degrees I wish I had. Sociology is one of them, I also wish I majored in Anthropology and Art History, Literature (which I just switched out of this year) and of course my fascination with Psychology and diagnosing people with mental disorders that I research on the Internet (myself included of course) leads me to believe that if in fact I do decide to get another degree Psychology would be it. I want to know everything, I am obsessed with knowledge and cramming it all in my head. Now this is not to say that I am unhappy with my choice in International Studies, because I love what I am learning/want to save the world, I just want to learn more and never stop.
The most frustrating part about school is making all those hard decision with which direction to go-all you kiddie pops still in high school applying for school soon I have news for you...it is not over once you think it is..what I mean is that you will think choosing a major and a school and changing your mind a million times within four years is stressful, well what they don't tell you is that after you finalize your decision and think you have everything figured out you have to choose AGAIN after it is all finished! currently I am in this very situation, I have to make plans for next year ie- college/ grad school after that/another degree/work/ahhh.
Everyday I think about how I wish I took nursing or commerce, those kids are set for life. If I didn't pass out every time I went into a hospital I would have been a nurse.
This is too much information, all of which my only blog reader already knows-ah well its cute that he reads it.