love letter to myself.

Taken on a flight leaving Hong Kong.

Buddhas in Bangkok.

I received a letter in the mail today.

It was from me.

I wrote it exactly one year ago while I was studying in Asia.

My friend Tira (one of the loveliest girls I have ever met) decided it would be wise to write to ourselves what we were learning or feeling on that very day, and then she remembered (see I told you she was lovely) to mail these letters back to all our friends one year later.

I had completely forgotten that we did this and hardly recognised the girl who wrote it other then the hand writing which hadn't changed at all. I have really worked hard to push past those memories I wrote about that plagued me, I used my trip to Asia to work on precisely that. I remember feeling those things, quite often they creep back up again, but they are not nearly as painful or fresh as before.

My heart was broken back then. It is strange how a person can be wounded more by the surrounding people of a broken relationship than the person who was directly related. That sometimes the friendships you lose in the process of losing the person you are with damages your self worth more than the person who you loved because of unkind or untrue words.

Now I am afraid to try and have close friendships with people involved with my relationship...because I honestly don't think I could do it again.

You are probably thinking "what the heck is she talking about"...(When I say "you" I mean the reader, I don't even know who you are, I'm not sure who reads this blog of mine). In any case sorry for the confusion and lack of detail, what I am trying to say without saying is that people need to be careful with their words because they have a lasting effect. As mentioned before in a previous post where I described a very old and wise monk I once met he said "be careful with your words when you are with friends, a friendship of 20 years can be ruined by one word".